You have things you endorse objectively, and things you feel emotionally.

For example, I have a crazy-style haircut and I know it doesn't matter what people think--at least when I calculate the cost-benefits of my look, I find it makes sense objectively. However, I get uncomfortable by people's stares, looks, and criticisms.

I think happiness involves to some degree a synchronicity between what you feel and what you endorse. You ultimately want to do what you think is right and best for you objectively, but emotionally, your heart may give you constraints. Some sort of compromise is in order.

Bah, it seems like Stephen Covey's right after all. His first chapter in 7 Habits of Highly Effective people is about making your expectations a little ahead of your capacity. This is similar to my earlier posts regarding how wise-men keep the recurring concept that wisdom is knowing how and when to control your desires. His second chapter, I think, is having a "principle-centered" life... I was always against this, primarily because his method for discovering your principles involved imagining what you wanted your close-ones to think of you when you died. Now, this may relate to Buber's concept that man is only a man inasmuch as he serves his community, so he could still be right on that one... but I still hold down the individualists' attitude. Either way though, Covey has a point about having a principle-centered life, which can be translated into an endorsement-centered life, or an authentic life. Everything you do should revolve around the things that you truly believe in. This is not so obvious because we could do things out of desparation even though we don't endores the acts of desparation. Finding out your principles is not easy, and I won't suggest Covey's method, but you can find them eventually.