It seems we live by our habits and weekly routines.
I hear a lot of people talk about saving up money or building up something for one or two years, and then afterwards, doing something completely different. You usually hear it along the lines of, "I'm going to work my ass off for the next 3 years to make a lot of money, and then after that, I'll just retire, and pursue my passions till the end."
Unfortunately, I don't think it works that way. Over those 3 years, you start to develop this habit of working for extra money in the future. Eventually that becomes your m.o. such that in year 3 you're still in the same thinking: "how can I work today to make money in the future." In order to help sustain that mentality, you'll probably consume more in order to pressure yourself to keep producing.
I think it's wiser to develop weekly habits and routines that you are willing to sustain now and forever.
Welcome to the Singularity kids. Step right up. Pick and choose your attire, for you are now going to be a model for how future generations will surf the Singularity.
I'm somewhat bothered by current look & feel.
I feel like am an infovorve. I just swallow information. I have papers I've printed from the Internet, stapled and scattered all over my table waiting to be read. I have URL shortcuts splattered across my desktop. Magazine pages open and sprawled over my chairs and bed area. A laundry list of ideas I want to chew on, from baudrillard to bertrand russell. At the same timee, we're approaching the 700th post on this blog. All the while I'm drowning in mp3 albums from my 33GB collection, all eclectic of course.
I need to relax. I need to read a webpage that has 10 different "related links" and not Shift-Click them all, i.e. open a new window for each of them. I need to slow down my reading, and chew up paragraphs, not blurbs. I need to enjoy the information, see the art.
My current method is like that of a conquest. I search, acquire a target, rip through the scroll button, and out comes an budding understanding of some sexy topic. Sexiness is what it is, and I think sex is a good analogy. Because, sex, unlike love, can be like chocolate or caffeine...not necessarily pure "addiction" but more like a recreational drug. Except on the Net, I'm high all the time.
The topics have to be sexy otherwise I won't even touch it. I used to be excited by things like evolutionary biology and tranhumanist progress. Now I have to find obscure ideas, and am slowly slipping into "Voodoo Schmoodoo" of the like found on Deoxy.
Just like there are recreational users of alcohol and marijuana, there are people who casually surf the net. Likewise, just as there are crackheads of psychotropic substances, there are the crackheads of information--me.
All human activity is prompted by desire. There is a wholly fallacious theory advanced by some earnest moralists to the effect that it is possible to resist desire in the interest of duty and moral principle. I say this is fallacious, not because no man ever acts from a sense of duty, but because duty has no hold on him unless he desires to be dutiful. If you wish to know what men will do, you must know not only or principally their material circumstances, but rather the whole system of their desires with their relative strengths. - Bertrand Russell.
Impulse: boredom. This is oil on my floor that keeps me slipping back into my infovore tendancies.
Solution: super blogroll. I call what we have at the top lefthand skyscraper space by the girl-sketch a revolver. A double-barrel revolver. I stock up this boredom-killer with info-Pez. Essay vaults, art archives, humor hubs. Everyday I play Russian roulette with the revolver at least 30 times, and my mind and boredom get blown away.
Initially, this was exciting. I had found the gun powder that I could pepper my floor with so that the oil of boredom would harden and allow me to sit and breathe peacefully.
Instead, I have choked, and I am choking on this ever expanding law of accelerating returns. Every few days I trip over some undiscovered mountain of glorious new information.
STOP!
Is this the proper way to approach the Singularity. Is this what my genes are striving me to do, to become a super information recycler? Should we--can we--transcend our genetic imperative for human progress?
Fuck it. I am man, I am unscripted, I can chill, I don't have to conquer texts and conquer information.
This is a bad habit I've developed. I don't want to blame school or anything, but I've spent a lot of my life trying to "hold down" information. It's always been emphasized to acquire or wield an idea like it were a whipping stick to be used to either sensationalize or to attack.
Time to smell the roses I guess.
What's the Ultimate Life?
Well, let's throw in the "basics:"
+ Learning
- Understanding what it means to be "human"
- Gaining a breadth of understanding about a multitude of topics in the world
- Gaining depth in a specific area
- Having an acute self-awareness
+ Having Fun
- Going to the beach
- Meeting girls
- Socializing
+ Productivity
- Making progress everyday
Then, why not we throw in some other things like..
+ Bringin in results
+ Being socially celebrated
+ Fame
+ Philantthropy
+ Maximizing the number of lives touched
+ Being presentable
+ Beating Others
+ Making Money
+ Loving Nature
+ Obtaining Spiritual highs
+ Exploring psychotropic substances
Like, there's just soo much crap to do, when did our needs become extended beyond the most basic, such as caring for loved ones, maintaining our independence, and doing things we enjoy? When did it become this gonglomerate chimera of crap. I mean, does anybody out there do ALL of the above?
Blah, maybe it's just me and my over-laden ambition. Like really, I want a simple life.
This post is about one of my paintings, Colorado Mountain. The actual mountains are here, here and here
The actual Colorado Mountains make up a small mountain range twenty or so miles east of Palm Springs in California.
What initially started as a trivial 30-minute walk through the desert, spiraled into a 9 hour physical test of might and mental test of will.
Marching through the desert was this process of continually forgetting that each step forward would be another step back. I was too caught up in the immersion with nature. Walking alone in the desert envelopes you in enormous warmth. The sky becomes almost yellow as the shine of the golden dirt interferes with all of your vision. All my senses were attacked by the fire of the environment and I couldn't help but lose all of my conscious safeguards.
I eventually fixed myself upon a mountain off in the distance. I had never gone random mountain climbing before, so I had no skill in the judgment of distance. Needless to say, I completely miscalculated how long it would take to get there. And yet, as I became slightly aware of my continuous miscalculations, I simultaneously kept ignoring the cautions. My body and animal spirits were taking over my mental states, which motivated me on primitive urges. Primitive urges included the mindless desire to continue the stable rhythm of my march and also the desire to reach my destination just because.
Food. Worriment about my sustenance was also being swept under the rug. On the one hand, I felt like I needed to have food or water, otherwise "very bad things would happen." On the other hand, part of me wanted to kill my old habits and let my internal cave-man emerge. The cave-man conquered the internal modern man, which led to compounding brashness. I made the bold decision to not eat anything until I came to the mountain. This seemed, even in retrospect, a silly irrational decision. On the other hand, there was some method in the madness. I was trying to "go with my gut" or "do what I love from the get go." I figured if I just go with the most basic, most emotional, most silly motivations, that I would somehow lead a better, happier life.
After four hours of continuous hiking, I finally reached the foot of the mountain, and then I began my feast. I didn't eat all of my food for it had to be saved till I reached the top of the mountain--after all, all I had was a banana, fruit bar, and some slices of bread. But, I did eat that one banana. What a banana this was. This was the prize for my passion-directed approach, and it was well worth it. First, the anticipation preceding the opening of the banana was unlike anything I've ever had for any food before. Instead of rabidly peeling off the skin like I normally do with bananas, I took my time, making the effort to delay my pleasure so that I could enjoy the impending pleasure as much as possible. This trick worked and the first bite was nirvana of the mouth.
The story continues, but back to the painting. The painting is an expressionistic semi-representation of that little hike. On a superficial level, there are obvious connections. The warm peaks are like my warm body, standing up against the sky. The sky's dried aqua is tinted by the blurring shine of yellow form the sun. Everything is rushing upwards for it was windy most of the time. And the blues on the bottom represent the episode that succeeded the aforementioned hike. I arrived at sunset, and as a result, spent the subsequent five hours on treacherous, cold rocks.
Beyond the superficial, there are other layered meanings embedded within "Colorado Mountain." These are subjective though, and I'll leave that to your imagination.
Are "interesting" and "creative" types just normal people suffering under the weight of self-condemnation for being ordinary?
In the Matrix, Neo walks into the Oracle's kitchen and the Oracle points up, above Neo's head, and reads off the maxim, "Know thyself"
This is a reference to one of the two phrases above the actual Greek Oracle temple. (Thanks to Paul Legutko for these)
Medan Agan - Everything in Moderation
Gnothi Seauton - Know thyself
The wisdom of these two phrases never ceases to be powerful. The "Everything in Moderation" imperative is actually the most basic imperative of subjectivity. And since I believe that life is both an Art and a Science, it's fitting that subjectivity is at the centrepoint. Subjectivity, the capability of the subject to freely determine the weight of something is pretty much the essence of Art. By being subjective, by making decisions, by exercising judgement, especially in favor of not doing something excessively, one takes direction over one's life. And self-benefit is precisely the reason for following a maxim. Sure, it IS at some times, good to do things in excess, in which case, it's not truly an excess, but an excess in disguise as necessary volume.
As for "Know thyself," this is a bit more controversial. Nietzsche criticizes the idea of "knowing yourself" in the Gay Science. I can never pinpoint a good argument why he dislikes it except for the fact that he is irritated by those who falsely assume they know themselves. Many people can only know through their conscious thoughts and therefore tend to ignore their more subconscious, primitive, and usually evil, urges. This fits in well with Nietzsche's go-evil stance in general and also helps justify his personal inabilities with dealing with his own unparalleled insanities. Oscar Wilde is also another lamenter of the move to lift under the hood. He has a similar justification as does Nietzsche, thinking that those who walk around with the presumption that they understand themselves are just shallow. However, it's possible he dislikes it for simply artistic reasons. Having yourself always at a distance from itself will indeed make life seem more dramatic, more mysterious, more interesting. If that's your cup of tea, be my guest. I'd take the drama and the art, but not the deep-set lows, slavery, and self-loathing pain that comes with being disconnected from oneself.
Having said that, I think that knowing yourself is relevant. Even if you can't know yourself in a complete sense, but always being aware of what you feel, what you need, what you want etc. If life is Observe, Analyze, Apply, and you are the sole judge, jury, and executioner of your actions (an existentialist assumption), then the best observations one could make are about themselves.
I've noticed that everything can be reduced to information judo. If you are depressed, upset, unhappy, in pain, etc.. it's due to some folding of information combined with a desire to resolve. If you have the spigot of information about yourself cut-off, it'll be extremely hard to operate on yourself. Or to put another way, it's terribly hard for a doctor to perform an operation or diagnosis without a proper analysis of the symptoms. If you can't respond to yourself, then good luck, your "self" will wither. This is not necessarily a terrible proposition for society as this homo sapien template is designed to handle servants and tyrants. You can either choose or be chosen, but at least if you choose, you have the opportunity to avoid undesired servitude.
So, once again, go Ancient Greeks. And as for categorical imperatives are concerned, those two are the best I've discovered. Although, categorical imperatives should be avoided anyways.
DISCLAIMER: I'm probably abusing the word categorical imperative. I haven't studied up on the subject enough, so forgive my reinterpretation for philosophistry
Did an open mic for the first time today at Galokas in San Diego. I dressed in all black, had my hair combed ultra normal, and did a few twisted things that I doubt anybody noticed. Nontheless, it was really fun. I was hella nervous before, and going up there to stand and deliver was not what I expected. I expected to just be nervous and wanting to dish out what I said, but instead, it turned into something powerful. After I said, "Man is just" I paused in silence for a good five seconds--eternity in spoken word--and then, bam, bam, bam, like the daggers of thought I intended to lob, I delivered. The applause I got was comparable to the others, which was comforting.
I had criticisms of all the other spoken word artists, but in quickly sharing it with others, I find that it's just not popular to share such a high bar for art. I always believed in Nietzsche's conception of the Superman, and I wished others would try to make their art rise beyond the mundane. See, already, you are hearing the negative vibes: pessimism, cynicism, arrogance, and just plain bitterness. Why? Why? This is why I don't like revealing my personal thoughts or relating my personal experiences at times. The Truth, or at least my Truth hurts. So when people ask me questions, I try to only tell the part of the Truth that doesn't ruin the conversation into a wrestling match. The match usually ends with me losing and the winner being somebody who just stands over me and says, "See, you can't say X". Don't get me wrong, I enjoy everything. The ceremony of spoken word that processed before me was dope. It was funny, entertaining, and clever. But I must be honest when I emphasize how much I desire improvement and higher forms of art.
Hmm, something is wrong here.... I feel it's a waste, self-indulgent, and plain boring, to talk about my "standards" of art though. I think the compromise I can make with my socially "arrogant" attitudes and my desire to be a generally nice guy, is to be silent and prove my ideas through example. What you say says nothing. Action is what counts. And yet, with friends, especially close friends, I think speaking your mind is still a strong imperative.
I spent the time there with Chaz and Elaine. Elaine had heard of the place and helped me get the link on the left ("Urban San Diego"). It was really nice having friends with me. You can have all the theories in the world, but when you sit down after speaking and a friend gives you a handshake, it feels good. Plus, NOW, there's a whole world of San Diego culture to conquer! (dah!... maybe I should just go screw it, this is my blog, my space, let the arrogance flow like spit)
Here is the poem that I spoke:
"The Gay Funeral"
By Philip Dhingra
Man is just
An informaton processor
When we follow our passions to make love
and subsequently have sex
We are merely exchanging and merging blueprints
To create more information-processors
Who
Through the course of their life
Will struggle to exist
And repeat
what you started.
Now
That is not what life is ALL about?
At least for non uber-hormonal college students.
There is
ART
There is
science
and there is
war
As I take quiet walks
--a rare task these days--
I am always surprised by how
unaware we are of the superstructures
mushrooming around us
From drugs
such as TV
religion
courtship
shrooms
and real mushroom clouds over Bahgdad
The question then emerges
Who
Rules this earth?
Nietzsche once said,
"God is dead.
And we have killed him"
I revise and say,
"Man is dead.
And we have killed him"
Man first died when he chose to speak
When he chose to love
When he chose to submit his activities
To a greater good.
We are gathered here today
For another kind of greater good.
A pow-pow of the most
meta
significance
And we are also here to mourn
the impending death of man
But this will be a death
with little bloodshed
And as the movie The Hours
showed us
Death can be a gift
unto the living
But
What will live on?
Who will live on?
The struggle for existence continues.
I'm in no hurry though
I want to enjoy the Singularity
one precious bit
at a time.
###
In convo with A**** today, concluded: everybody is working or relating to the singularity in some way. Some are architecting it, like venture capitalists. Some are architecting it "actively" such as Kurzweil. Others are passively helping it, voters, soldiers, anybody. And others, well, are just buying it! Yes, my cousin is the Singularity(TM) consumer style. He's got the bluetooth ear piece (un)connected to a $300 semi-G3 cell phone. Got the pad in La Jolla with plasma screen, dot-com in his basement with roommate, computer equipment and people doing his bidding everywhere, the latest and greatest in fashion. This guy is on the bleeding edge of the toys of singularity.
Contrast my relationship, which is more an appreciation and expression of the singularity. I look, I process, I disseminate. That's what I've always been good at, that's why I could have won "most outspoken" in High School if I wasn't so busy dot-comming and being politically correct.
What's your relationship to the Singularity? Are you actively engaged, passively contributing, or actively disengaging, thereby only helping to promulgate it?
UPDATE: A**** is my 1-year younger cousin who smells bad. Oh, and he wanted his IM name here, A****D00 so that he can share his body odor with bitches and ho's that fall in love with his relationship with the Singularity(TM).
What is happening? Like, WTF? I mean, some 4%-6% portion of Americans have ADD, that's the thing. On the one hand, people from other countries go, "haha, those dumb-ass hypochondriac Americans, always with problems" Okaaaay, some truth to that. Others would say, "no, really, these people have some fricking problems" Okay, some truth here to. And others would say, "we have more information, therefore we can identify problems better, faster." Some truth there too.
But, I compare with this with the old tradition of arranged marriages vs. romantic "true love" American-style marriage. Arranged marriages were necessary at the time because the only thing you needed was a mate. It was more important that you reproduced than whether you and your spouse were "compatible." Fortunately, and this is corroborated by psychologists, we can supposedly invent ways to love someone. So, if I were forced to marry another person, I would make myself "compatible" to that person in order make the relationship stay smooth while we're xeroxing our DNA.
So, why has forced-compatibility been replaced with free-compatibility? Why do Americans get to "shop" around? Well, probably because it's evolutionarily better. Women who shop around put pressure on men to make themselves more attractive. And vice-versa. The pressure becomes a significant motivation in life. "How am I supposed to get a good girl if I can't afford a nice house in San Diego." The man then works his butt off at a corporation, thereby contributing to the increasing order of information in the world. Women, do similar things. "Jenny, you should go to a university so that you can find a good man."
So how does this relate to ADD?! Well, the more simple things get taken care of, the more somehow, we develop new problems to be satisfied. Since having sex in America is not as big of a problem, finding your "soul mate" has become a new problem. Romance, so I've been taught, was invented in the 1500s in the Renaissance. "Invented?? What do you mean invented? I thought romance was eternal, lasting, sacred." The more problems we fix, the more we come up with new problems.
Okay, a somewhat long twisted road to a only semi-interesting common sense conclusion.
But, it became interesting when I thought about myself and I thought about other people. To put it simply, I'm just not satisfied with normal things like football and a 9-to-5 job. Maybe, before, people who weren't satisfied killed themselves off or just got bored, and natural selection knocked them out anyways. But now that science is allowing more people to survive, even the most discontent get a ticket to life. What does that result in? Well, because it takes a lot to get people satisfied, you all of a sudden have people trying to "find their niche" or "discover their passion." Everytime I think, "man, what is that one special thing that I could do that will make me happy." I then pause, and start to feel a little bit guilty. "Am I a whimp?" I start to think. I can't help but wonder whether my DNA would have survived 10,000 years ago when all there was to do was hunt-and-gather. But then I think, okay, singularity, future, change, evolution, okay, maybe there's something to my discontent. My discontent has forced me to find more deeper and meaningful things to do in life. Instead of just satisfying my stomach, I've come to "need" things like the Internet, intellectual conversations, artistic musings, "true love," etc.
I also came to this similar conclusion when I was watching the movie Life and Debt. I was sitting there for two hours, being bludgeoned with depressing perspectives on people living in Jamaica. But when I think back on it, I go, okay, what was so depressing about it? The fact that they couldn't travel to the US? The fact that tourists there are richer than they are? The fact that they had to throw away their milk every year? Despite all of that, I was thinking, they're all alive. And most of their problems are because they have more people. But more people isn't the problem. Over-population is only a problem for economists. Tell a woman whose baby dies young or who is told by the state that she can't procreate that it's to "curb over-population." These people had clothing, they had food, they had TV, they had instruments, and they had enough to purchase pot, and such. The same percentage of people that are unhappy there, I bet, are the same percentage of people unhappy in America. Everywhere you go, discontentment and suffering pervades.
Human relativity, we all know that. If you start with a million bucks and slowly chip away his net worth over the course of your life, you'll feel more unhappy than a person that started with ten thousand and addded ten g's every year to his net worth. Man wasn't built with any absolute happiness system. If he was, then eating, sleeping, and having sex would be enough to make everybody content, and nobody would do anything. No grand economic capitalistic schemes would be produced, no innovation would be produced, no weapons of mass destruction produced, and therefore the next civilization over that had all of that, would surely plink the other off the planet.
But, why must man destroy each other in the first place? To be continued...